the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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