Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
