Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
