she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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