I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
