walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
