Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
