I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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