We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
