The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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