I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
