its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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