i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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