so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
