I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
