The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
