is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
