So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
