Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
