I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
