He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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