what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
