thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
