He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
