ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
