when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
