I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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