the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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