Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
another moral hangover. fuck.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
