just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
