meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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