Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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