i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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