so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
