i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
