i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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