So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
