Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
