if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
