I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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