It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
