nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
