fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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