She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
