I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
