Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you didnt know i had herpes?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
