meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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