i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We are two peas in an std pod
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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