just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
