The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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