you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
