it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
