I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
